Bubble baths, massages, sipping wine, and playing vinyl – Are these a few of your favorite things? Or, maybe this is what we are told self-care is.
Overall health, and how to achieve it, will always be a topic of conversation. But these days, there are more conversations on the importance of self-care. If you’ve been on an airplane, you’ve heard the instruction to put on your own oxygen mask before helping someone else. But what does this mean in the real world? How can we practice self-care? Before we can explore ways to personalize and prioritize self-care, let’s have an honest conversation of what it’s not.
It’s not: A meaningless indulgence
Each person needs something different to reduce their stress. For example, some people take walks to reduce stress. Some people need to journal, or vent to a trusted person. On the other hand, some need an ice cream cone or a massage to do the trick. The idea is to identify an act that will give you moments of clarity or peace. Whatever that thing is for you, it is a necessity for your mental health, and shouldn’t be simply reduced to a pointless indulgence.
It’s not: A burden…or eventually we won’t think so
This is a tough one, especially if you are a parent, a caregiver, or if you are responsible for anything or anyone outside of yourself. This is to say, that adding one more thing to an already long to-do list can definitely feel a bit burdensome. It will take some work to train our minds into accepting that self-care is a necessity and not a luxury. A car can’t run without gas. You can’t accomplish much if you aren’t ok mentally, physically, emotionally, etc.
It’s not: Something you can do alone
This one took me a bit of time to accept. It’s called “Self-care,” but I need someone else to perform it?? Yes, we need others. Life requires support from a village. Your village can be made up of family and friends, medical professionals or even a public health program. It doesn’t matter really. The point is you need people to be around either directly or indirectly supporting you. For instance, we can’t get therapy if there aren’t any qualified providers giving service. Parents can’t have a moment to themselves if they don’t have a trusted person to watch their children. We must make ourselves available to one another and lift each other up so that when it comes time, we can do what we must do for our own individual health.
It’s not: A pastime for the rich
Everyone needs to get enough sleep, food and nutrition, physical activity and mental health attention. These health necessities aren’t exclusive to the rich. The wealthy may have more immediate resources that makes it easier for them to perform self-care activities; however, it doesn’t mean people with less don’t need these things. This just means the previous point is even more important – we need each other.
It’s not: Unchangeable
There are core things that we all need: food, water, sleep, physical activity, etc. But the way that I reduce stress is very different from how my friends reduce stress. The ways that I connect socially is different from what you may do to connect with others. Self-care is about identifying what you need to live a healthy life. Examples of how to practice self-care may be helpful, but if a tip isn’t working for you, it’s ok to change things up until you find something that does work for you. Making life adjustments until you feel comfortable is the best way to think of self-care.
Above all…
No, your problems won’t go away because you purchased a new shirt or because you had an ice cream cone. But it is the intention behind the act itself that helps to reduce stress. If going out to get an ice cream gave you a moment of silence and clarity, and you were able to come up with ideas and solutions, then it was worth it. It wasn’t the ice cream by itself, but it was you prioritizing an action that brought you healing.
Click the links below for resources that may be helpful on your self-care journey:
